Collage by Tamie - archived at The M&S Love Connection

TITLE:  Conversation Hearts III:  Always, Forever
AUTHOR:  Lara Means
E-MAIL:  LaraMeansXF@aol.com 
CLASSIFICATION:  SR
RATING:  NC-17 (for explicit sex)
ARCHIVE:  Gossamer, NO; Spookys site, NO (I'll submit directly to 
both); Ephemeral, YES; anywhere else, YES, but if possible please 
let me know

SPOILERS:  Fire, War of the Coprophages, Syzygy, Memento Mori, 
FTF, Triangle, The Rain King, Tithonus, Biogenesis/The Sixth 
Extinction/Amor Fati, Millennium

SUMMARY:  Scully gives Mulder her Valentine's Day gift.

DATE POSTED TO ATXC:  03/09/00

FEEDBACK:  Hey, writers live for this stuff.  Constructive 
criticism is welcomed, on ATXC or at LaraMeansXF@aol.com

DISCLAIMER:  "The X-Files" is copyright Twentieth Century Fox 
Television and Ten Thirteen Productions.  The show, its premise 
and characters were created by Chris Carter and are used here 
without permission.  No copyright infringement is intended, no 
profit will be realized.  (I've also borrowed the name of a 
character from Carter's "Millennium" as a pseudonym.  Same 
disclaimer applies.)

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  Sorry to be so long in posting Part Three.  
Sometimes the Real World rears its ugly head and must be dealt 
with.  Hope it's worth the wait.

"Conversation Hearts" is a three-part series.  Part One, "My 
Funny Valentine" (rated PG), was posted on 2/20/00.  Part Two, 
"The Dating Game" (rated R), was posted on 2/24/00.  This one, 
"Always, Forever," is Part Three, the last.

These stories are sort of a follow-up to my story "Nonessential 
Personnel."  It isn't necessary to have read that story to follow 
these; just know that Mulder and Scully spent a day back in 
January playing in the snow and making out. <g>

Also, I consider all these stories as being set sometime between 
Millennium and Orison.  Frankly, Orison and Sein Und Zeit/Closure 
are just too damn sad to happen before these -- and the weather's 
all wrong in SUZ/Closure (February was cold and wet in *Southern* 
California -- can't imagine Mulder and Scully running around 
Sacramento in February without a coat).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CONVERSATION HEARTS III:  ALWAYS, FOREVER

by Lara Means

Dana Scully's Apartment
Saturday, February 12, 2000
1:57 a.m.

Neither of us said anything in the car.  There wasn't anything to 
say, really.  We just held hands, glanced at each other at 
traffic lights.  We both knew that if we kissed there in the car, 
we'd never make it inside my apartment.

As it was, we almost didn't.

Standing at my door, my hands were shaking as I tried to unlock 
it.  Mulder was behind me, close to me.  He covered my hand with 
his, guiding the key into the lock and turning it.  He nuzzled my 
neck and pressed his body against mine -- I could feel him, 
already hard, aroused.  God, I wanted him.

We finally made it inside and I was on him, pinning him against 
the closed door.  Our tongues dueled for control, our hands were 
everywhere.  We got each other's overcoats off and I ground my 
hips against him.  We broke the kiss then, breathing hard and 
both gasping at the contact.

"God, Mulder..."

"Scully... we have to slow down a little."  I looked up at him, 
questioning, saw the desire in his eyes.  "I want this to be... I 
mean... I don't want it to be over before we really get started."  
I kissed him again, gentler this time.  He smiled, knew I 
understood.  I slipped his suit coat off his shoulders and draped 
it across the sofa, then took his hands and led him into the 
bedroom.

We stopped just inside and I undid his tie, slipped it off and 
let it fall to the floor.  I'd just started to work on his shirt 
when he pulled me to him and kissed me again, his tongue plunging 
into my mouth.  He backed me up a few steps, then he released me 
and spun me around until we were both facing the mirror above my 
dresser.  We stood there staring at our reflections, then he 
trailed his lips down my neck.  I shivered.

"Mulder..."

He kissed and tongued and bit at my neck as his trembling hands 
unzipped my dress.  He slid it off my shoulders and it pooled at 
my feet.  I stood in front of him, my back to him, in my lacy bra 
and panties, pantyhose and three-inch heels.  Mulder ran his 
hands up and down my arms, his knuckles grazing the sides of my 
breasts.

"So beautiful..."

I turned and stepped closer to him -- his hands slipped around my 
waist and I finished unbuttoning his shirt.  Finally... what I'd 
craved so badly on the dance floor.  I pushed his shirt open and 
ran my hands up and down his toned chest and stomach.  I raked my 
fingernails lightly over his nipples and felt him shudder.  I 
kissed his throat, my lips tracing over his collarbone.  My 
tongue swirled around his nipple and he groaned.

Mulder buried his hands in my hair and tugged, pulled my head 
back and laid claim to my lips again.  His tongue swept my mouth, 
exploring every crevice.  My hands tore at his shirt, finally got 
it off him completely -- I stroked and kneaded his broad 
shoulders, my nails scratched up his neck into his hair.

I felt his fingers slip inside the waistband of my pantyhose and 
I pulled back, breaking the kiss.  He was trying, but I knew he'd 
never get my nylons off on his own.  I wasn't entirely certain 
*I* could manage.

Breathing hard, licking lips that were swollen from our kisses, 
Mulder watched intently as I slipped the pantyhose down my legs.  
For the first time I got a real sense of, well, stripping for my 
lover.  My lover.  Mulder.  I shivered, caught and held his eyes.  
He felt it too.

I stepped out of my shoes, muttering under my breath about my 
lack of height.  I tossed my nylons aside and considered putting 
my shoes back on.

"Don't, Scully."  Amazing, the way he can read me.  He stepped 
closer to me, put his arms around me.  "I think we fit together 
well."  He'd said that to me that day in the snow -- the day we 
started in earnest down the road that would lead us here.  He 
tilted my face up to his and kissed me gently -- but I was in no 
mood for gentle.  My tongue invaded his mouth, plundering it, 
claiming it selfishly.

My hands attacked his belt, and I could swear I felt his cock 
twitch at the movement.  I managed to get the belt undone and the 
zipper down, then I slipped my hands around his waist, inside his 
pants, and slid them off his hips.  Through silk boxers I 
caressed his firm ass, those tight globes of muscle I've watched 
moving under his designer trousers for so long -- and he did the 
same to me.  God, we were like two teenagers copping a feel.

We began to move toward the bed -- but since his pants were 
around his ankles, Mulder tripped and fell backwards onto the 
bed, taking me with him.  We both laughed a little as I lay there 
on top of him, feeling him under me, his erection pressed against 
me, his hands on me.  I looked at him as our laughter faded, then 
shifted and straddled him.

I rocked against him, and he let out a long, slow breath.  
"Scully... is this really happening?"  I just nodded, the 
sensation of our bodies touching taking away my ability to be 
articulate.  He stared at me for a long moment, then...  "And it's 
what you want?"

God, was he really that uncertain, that insecure?  Couldn't he 
see how badly I wanted this, wanted him?  I pressed my body into 
his and leaned down close.  I took his face in my hands, made him 
look into my eyes.  "Mulder, I've wanted you for so long... I..."

He smiled at me then, and before I knew it he had rolled us over 
so he was above me.  "Just checking."  And he kissed me again -- 
a deep, passionate kiss that told me he knew how I felt, knew 
what I wanted, knew exactly how to kiss me, how to touch me.  
This man knew everything there was to know about me, and still he 
wanted to know more.  Just as I wanted to know everything and 
more about him.

His feet were still entangled in his trousers, so he pulled away 
from me and stood up.  I leaned up on my elbows and watched as he 
toed off his shoes and got his pants off.  He stood there in his 
black silk boxers, his erection creating an impressive-looking 
tent.  He seemed to be making a decision -- about what, I wasn't 
sure.  After a moment he came back to me, still wearing his 
shorts.  I sat up as he kneeled next to me on the bed and put his 
arms around me.  Then I felt his hands working the hooks on my 
bra.  He slipped the straps off my shoulders and down my arms, 
exposing my breasts to his intense stare.  I felt my nipples 
harden under his gaze -- it was incredibly arousing, being 
studied like that.

I reached out and took Mulder's hand in mine, brought it to my 
breast and held it there.  He tentatively stroked me, cupped me.  
I let my hand fall away as his touch became more certain and he 
began to tease my nipple, tugging it between his fingers.  He 
brought his other hand up to caress the other breast.  He leaned 
in and kissed me, then his lips moved down my throat, down my 
chest until they reached the tops of my breasts.  I arched my 
back a little, threaded my fingers through his hair.  He swirled 
his tongue around my nipples, first one then the other -- he 
lavished such attention on my breasts I felt almost worshipped.  
Then he pulled my nipple into his mouth and I let out a whimper 
-- that's what it was.  A whimper.  Dana Scully does not whimper.  
God, what this man does to me.

He gently eased me back onto the bed, his mouth never leaving my 
breasts except to move between them.  His erection brushed my 
sensitive clit, and even through layers of silk and lace the 
sensation was electrifying.  My thighs parted and my hips thrust 
up to meet his.  He looked at me, his eyes dark with passion, 
that luscious mouth wet and glistening -- and he thrust against 
me.  I swear, I almost came then.  We were both breathing hard, 
and when he did it again we both cried out.

We wasted very little time removing those last remaining layers 
of clothing between us -- soon we were lying naked together, 
Mulder above me, poised to enter me.  I looked deep into his 
exquisite green-gold-brown eyes and was amazed by what I saw 
there -- desire certainly, but also an openness, a vulnerability 
I'd never seen before.  I pulled him to me and kissed him, my 
tongue caressing his -- no longer fighting for control, we were 
focused on giving to each other, pleasing each other.

He broke the kiss, looked into my eyes, seeking... I don't know, 
permission I guess.  I smiled and stroked his face, then reached 
between us and wrapped my hand around his penis.  He closed his 
eyes for a moment, then opened them again as I guided him inside 
me.  My own eyes grew wide at the sensation of being filled by 
him -- and that's exactly how I felt.  Filled.

It had been a long time for me, I knew that was part of it.  And 
Mulder's, well... big.  But I knew -- and he knew, too -- there 
was more to it than that.  We didn't move, didn't say anything.  
We didn't want to break the spell just yet.  We lay there, 
staring into each other.  Joined.

Then he moved.  He pulled out almost completely, then slid into 
me again -- even deeper than before, which I didn't think was 
possible.  We lay still for another moment, then he did it again.  
I wrapped my legs around him, drawing him in further.

We picked up the pace together, our eyes locked, communicating 
wordlessly as we've done so many times before, in so many other 
situations.  He kissed me hard, never breaking our rhythm.  He 
stayed close, creating a delicious friction against my clit as he 
drove into me.  I clutched at his back, his shoulders, dug my 
nails into him.  I was close, so close...  And he knew it.  And 
he whispered in my ear.

"It's okay, baby, I've got you... I'm here, you're safe... bet 
you're beautiful when you come... let go, sweetheart... come 
for me..."

The sound of his voice alone almost sent me over the edge.  Then 
he whispered again.

"Love you, Scully... love you so much."

My God.  The power of his words.  The truth in them.  That's what 
did it.  I was soaring.  Screaming his name.  And he was 
screaming mine.  Emptying into me.  My vagina pulsating around 
him.  His cock throbbing inside me.

Finally he collapsed on top of me, wrapping his arms around me.  
I tightened my legs around him, holding onto him, keeping him 
buried deep inside me.  I wanted to stay like this forever.

After a long, long time, he raised up a little and kissed me 
softly.  He withdrew and I missed him instantly.  He rolled onto 
his side and gathered me close.  I kissed his throat and felt him 
smile.

A few minutes later I felt him shiver.  "Why is it so cold in 
here?"

"Because we're lying on top of the covers, and we didn't turn the 
heat up when we came home."

"We should fix that."

But neither of us moved.  We were far too comfortable in each 
other's arms.  Then he shivered again.

"Scully, I'm freezing my ass off here."

"Can't have that.  I'm not done with it yet."  I smiled, kissed 
him, then moved to get up.  "You get under the covers, I'll turn 
up the heat.  You thirsty?"  He nodded, kissed me again and slid 
under the comforter.  I grabbed my robe and moved to leave, 
pausing in front of the mirror.  I ran my fingers through my hair 
and stared at my reflection for a moment -- then my eyes met 
Mulder's in the mirror and he smiled.

"I was right."  I raised an eyebrow at him, questioning.  "You're 
beautiful when you come."

I blushed, returned his smile.  "Of course, you're beautiful 
anyway, but Scully... I never thought I'd get to see..."  He 
paused a moment, his face serious.

"I meant it, you know.  It wasn't just the heat of the moment.  I 
love you."

I let out a shaky breath and closed my eyes.  Tonight wasn't the 
first time he'd said it -- that was in the hospital after he'd 
nearly drowned in the Bermuda Triangle.  I thought it was the 
Demerol talking and brushed him off, but now, tonight...  He 
loved me.  Mulder loved me.

When I opened my eyes again he'd turned away from me.  He looked 
a little sad, almost disappointed.  I'd hurt him again, simply by 
not responding.  My heart ached -- I couldn't let him think I 
didn't care about him, that I didn't love him too.

I reached into my lingerie drawer and pulled out the cream-
colored envelope I'd left there earlier.  I sat next to him on 
the bed and held it out to him.  He looked at me then and I 
smiled.

"Happy Valentine's Day."  He smiled softly and took the envelope.  
"Read it, Mulder.  I'll be back in a minute."  I squeezed his arm 
and started to get up, but he held onto me.

"Scully?"  The concern was evident in his voice.

I ran my fingers through his hair, caressed his face, kissed him.  
"It's nothing bad, I promise.  Just read it."  I kissed him again 
and left the room.

I turned up the heat and went into the kitchen.  I poured a tall 
glass of water and stood at the sink, my eyes closed, thinking 
about what Mulder was reading...

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Friday
2-11-2000

Mulder,

I've looked at that six times now, and it still doesn't seem 
quite right.  A love letter should start with something more 
romantic, something like 'Dearest Mulder' or 'My Darling Fox' -- 
but those don't seem right either.  Somehow, just plain 'Mulder' 
is the only thing that works.  So...

Mulder,

Yes, it says 'love letter' up there.  That's what this is.  A 
love letter.  You see, I'm not very good at expressing myself 
verbally -- not when it comes to my emotions, anyway.  I can 
expound on scientific theory for hours, as I'm sure you're well 
aware, but ask me how I feel about something or someone and I get 
all tongue-tied.  I'm much better at that stuff if I can write it 
down.

I've always been like this, even as a little girl.  Whenever Ahab 
would be at sea for months at a time I'd write angry letters 
telling him that I hated him, that he obviously didn't love us or 
he wouldn't go away for so long.  I didn't really hate him, and 
of course I never sent the letters, but I felt better for having 
written them.  Eventually I turned to diaries and journals, 
although I've never kept them regularly -- usually just when I'm 
confronted with strong emotions.  But you know all about that, 
don't you?  You read the journal I started when I first learned 
of the cancer.  And I showed you my Africa journal, the one I 
wrote when you were ill last year.  When I almost lost you.

Since your recovery, it's become important to me to find a way to 
tell you how I feel, to let you know how much you mean to me.  
And a letter seems to fit with my preferred way of dealing with 
things.  So...

Quite simply, Mulder, you mean everything to me.

Everything.

The good and the bad.  The positive and the negative.  The light 
and the darkness.  Everything.

You play so many roles in my life, Mulder -- how could you be 
less than everything?

You're my partner.  The one who watches my back, who trusts me to 
watch his.  Who has saved my life so many times, who's counted on 
me to do the same for him.  Who's gone to the ends of the earth 
for me, as I have done for him.  Whose mission, whose passion 
have become my own.

You're my friend.  My BEST friend.  Someone who appreciates my 
love of old horror movies, my fascination with romance novels, my 
sense of humor.  And I can appreciate your sense of humor, your 
taste in movies and... reading material.  (Really, I can -- I'm 
just very good at hiding it.)

You're my love.  My beloved.  That's such an old-fashioned word, 
but it's the best word.  Because to me it implies something... 
intense.  The depth of what I feel for you is so overwhelming it 
frightens me sometimes.  And I think it's always been there.  I 
know it always will be.

The thing is, Mulder... all the roles you play in my life are 
intertwined.  I can't compartmentalize you.  Sometimes I can't 
even tell where you end and I begin.  And that's why I felt the 
need to come clean -- to tell you how I feel.

I love you, Mulder.  With all my heart and soul.  If I don't say 
it as often as either of us would like, please know that I do 
feel it.

You are my life.  My light.  My love.

My beloved.

Yours always,
Scully

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

By the time he'd finished reading, I was leaning in the bedroom 
doorway watching him.  He lowered the paper and looked up at me, 
his eyes shining with unshed tears.  I smiled a little, sipped 
from the glass I'd brought with me.  He blinked and the tears 
fell.  "Scully..."

I sat next to him on the bed and wiped away his tears, then 
twined my fingers with his.  "Wasn't supposed to make you cry."

"Couldn't help it.  It's beautiful, Scully.  Thank you."

I smiled and kissed him.  He folded the letter and held it to his 
chest.  "I will cherish this.  Always."  He placed it carefully 
on the nightstand, then did the same with my water glass.  He 
drew me close and kissed me again.

"Mulder, I do love you.  I don't know why it's so hard for me to 
say it."

"You're doing just fine."

"I want to get better at saying it, at telling you how I feel.  
Will you help me?"

He nodded, smiled, kissed me again.  "It gets easier the more you 
say it.  You'll see."

I looked away from him then, remembering that hospital room.  
"When you said it the first time... Mulder, I should've..."

"Scully..."

I shook my head.  "No, I have to..."

"No."  His voice was firm, and he took my hands.  "Scully, I'm 
going to do something totally out of character.  I'm going to 
make a rule."

I raised an eyebrow and grinned.  "Isn't *breaking* rules your 
usual specialty?"

"I said it was out of character."  He returned my grin.

"So what's your rule?"

He stroked my face and spoke very softly.  "When we're in bed... 
I don't want us to dwell on the past.  No regrets, no guilt, no 
'I should've done this' or 'I wish I'd said that.'  Okay?"

I leaned in and kissed him gently.  "I suppose if you can handle 
the 'no guilt' provision, I can keep from wishing I said that."

"I didn't say it would be easy..."  He smiled, slipped his fingers 
into my hair.  "It's just that, when we're together like this, I 
want it to be about love and passion, not recriminations or 
missed opportunities."

"Considering it's your first, Mulder, it's a good rule.  But 
promise me something."

"Anything."

"If we really need to talk, we will.  And we'll be honest with 
each other."

"I always tell you the truth, Scully."

"We tell each other the truth... but we're not always honest."  
He frowned, a little confused.  "Ruby thinks we're both too busy 
being strong for each other."

"She does, huh?"

I nodded.  "I think she may be right."

He searched my eyes for a long moment.  He must've found what he 
was looking for there -- he pulled me close and kissed me, his 
tongue teasing at my lips.  "Come to bed, Scully."

I slipped off my robe and slid between the covers.  He gathered 
me up in his arms and I kissed him gently under his jaw.  "I love 
you."

I felt him smile and his arms tightened around me.  "See?  It's 
getting easier already."

Dana Scully's Apartment
Sunday, February 13, 2000
10:52 p.m.

We spent the weekend together without really planning to.  The 
only discussion about it happened at Mulder's apartment, when we 
stopped there late Saturday morning for him to change into some 
jeans.  I told him he should just pack an overnight bag and bring 
a suit for Monday -- he seemed pleasantly surprised that I'd 
suggest such a thing.

We didn't, however, spend the *entire* weekend in bed -- most of 
it, certainly, but not all of it.  We went to dinner and a movie 
Saturday, and on Sunday we went to brunch and rented some videos.

We spent Sunday evening on the floor in front of the fireplace as 
we had that Tuesday last month, wrapped up in each other's arms 
and talking.  We talked about important things, things that 
Mulder's Rule made off-limits in bed -- our fears, mostly.  I 
pushed it, I know, but I wanted him to know what was going 
through my mind in that hospital room when he told me he loved me 
for the first time.

"I was afraid, Mulder.  Afraid you didn't mean it the way I 
wanted you to, afraid you were just saying it because of... of 
everything we'd been through..."

"Dallas.  Antarctica.  And what happened in between."  His voice 
was very soft.  I nodded.  "What I told you, Scully -- I wasn't 
just saying that.  It wasn't some desperate attempt to keep you 
from leaving me."  I cocked an eyebrow, gave him a look.  "Okay, 
maybe it was, but I still meant what I said."

"That I made you a whole person?"

"Scully, I don't know where I'd be -- *what* I'd be -- without 
you.  I don't know what I'd do if you... if I lost you."

"If I left you."  He looked away, gave a little nod.  "You've 
been afraid of that for a long time, haven't you?"  He nodded 
again, still wouldn't look at me.  I took his hands, tilted his 
face toward me.  "Do you remember the situation then?  I was 
being transferred -- to *Utah*.  I was ready to resign before I'd 
let them send me two thousand miles away from you."

"I remember."

"I remember you tried to make me leave you.  'Get as far away 
from me as you can,' you said."  He turned away again.  My heart 
was breaking -- he didn't want to hear any of this, but if we 
were to have a future it had to be said.  "There was such a war 
going on inside you, Mulder.  You were terrified I'd leave you 
but you wanted to keep me safe, and you thought the only way to 
do that was to push me away.  But Mulder... *you* are not the 
work."  He looked at me, puzzled.  "I'm committed to the work, 
you know that.  And I don't pretend that we could ever fully 
separate what we do from who we are -- honestly, I don't think 
I'd ever want to try.  But if I had to make a choice, Mulder, you 
or the X-files... it's you.  It'll always be you."  There was 
such wonder in his expression that I had to ask, to make sure.  
"You understand?"

Mulder smiled gently, nodded, caressed my face.  He brought his 
lips to mine -- much like our New Year's Eve kiss, this one was 
sweet and soft.  I could feel how much he loved me in that kiss.  
Then he pulled me into a warm embrace and whispered.  "I love 
you, Scully."

I sighed, snuggled close to him.  "I love you, too."  I could 
feel him smile.  I was indeed getting better at saying it.  "But 
as afraid as you've always been that I'd leave you... that's how 
afraid I've been that you'd..."  I wasn't certain I could finish 
the thought, that I could admit to this particular fear.

"Scully?  That I'd what?"

I closed my eyes and hugged him tighter.  "That you'd fall in 
love with someone else."

He laughed a little and I felt my body stiffen involuntarily.  He 
pulled away, made me look at him.  He studied my eyes for a 
moment.  "You're serious."

I tried to turn away, but Mulder wouldn't let me.  "Despite the 
fact that I didn't have a right to be... fuck, *jealous*, I hate 
that word... I was.  I was afraid I'd missed my chance with you, 
that you'd get tired of waiting and find someone else."

I felt tears forming -- the last thing I wanted to do was cry in 
front of him, over something so...  But it wasn't inconsequential, 
it wasn't unimportant.  This fear of mine, irrational though it 
might be, was something I'd have to face -- especially now that 
the nature of our relationship had changed.

He stroked my cheek and I leaned into his touch, kissed his palm 
as he whispered.  "Tell me."

I took a deep breath and looked into his eyes.  There was so much 
trust, so much love there...

"It started with Phoebe Green."

He looked surprised.  "That was seven years ago.  We'd been 
working together less than a year..."

"I didn't say it was logical, Mulder."  I closed my eyes and let 
the memory flow.  "It was at that hotel in Boston.  You were 
dancing with her, and you... you kissed her.  I knew you'd been 
together before, you had a history with her, and nothing had ever 
happened between *us*, certainly, I don't think I'd even 
indicated to you that I might be interested..."

"Scully.  Stop trying to make sense of it and just tell me."  His 
voice was so gentle.

"And then, after the fire, when you woke up in your room and I 
was there taking care of you and..."

"I asked for her."

I looked at him then, nodded.  "Until that moment I was sure you 
still needed me, if only as a doctor, a scientist.  I knew I 
couldn't compete with her, she was so tall and elegant and 
sophisticated, and I was... short and young and naive..."

He hugged me, kissed the top of my head, stroked my hair.  
"Scully, I'll *always* need you, never doubt that.  As for the 
rest... you've been the only woman I've wanted for so long, it's 
hard to remember a time when...  I think with Phoebe, it was the 
comfort of the familiar.  It was easier than pursuing something 
new."

I nodded, gave a tiny laugh.  "Part of me really wants to say, 
'oh yeah, what about...' and reel off a list of every woman 
you've so much as flirted with for the last seven years."

"Would it make you feel better if you did?"  I shrugged.  
"Scully, I am an open book to you.  If you want to ask, ask."

I glanced at him, eyebrow cocked, a grin tugging at my lips.  
"Bambi Berenbaum."

His mouth fell open in surprise.  "Uh..."

"Open book, Mulder?"  I smiled, shook my head.

"I'm trying to remember... oh yeah..."  He grinned.  "She had 
long legs and big tits."

I laughed.  "You are such a... a *man*."

"And you love me for it."

"Yes, I do."  I kissed him, my tongue probed at his lips and he 
opened his mouth to me.  His hands roamed up and down my back, 
and one slipped under my sweatshirt to caress my breast.  "So, do 
they measure up to Bambi's?"

"I don't know, I never got this close to Bambi's."  He played 
with one nipple, tugging and pinching, rolling it between his 
fingers until it was almost painfully hard, then he did the same 
to the other one.  God, this man could play me like a piano.

"Anybody else?"  He kept kissing me, kept stroking my breasts.

"Um... Angela White?"  She was safe -- I knew the answer to that 
one.

"The stars were misaligned."  His mouth moved to my ear, my 
throat.  "Who else?"

I moaned as he bit my earlobe.  "Oh Mulder... yeah..."  He had 
learned my sensitive spots very quickly.

"C'mon, Scully, who else?"

I didn't want to talk about this anymore.  I just wanted him to 
keep touching me, and I wanted to touch him.  But I knew he 
wouldn't leave it alone yet.  "Sheila what's-her-name, that 
little town in Kansas with the flying cow..."

"Not funny, Scully, that cow could've killed me."

"C'mon, Mulder... Sheila."

He smiled, moved down my body, his mouth on my stomach.  
"Completely one-sided.  I did everything I could to discourage 
her."

"You kissed her."

"She kissed *me*."

"She..."  He nibbled the underside of my breasts, and I had 
trouble remembering what I was trying to say.  "She told me I 
should try it sometime."

"Try what?"

His tongue lapped at my nipples.  I was breathing hard, and my 
fingers were threaded in his silky hair.  "Kissing you... said 
you were really... really good.”  I felt him laugh against my skin 
and I arched my back, holding him to me as he suckled my breast 
like a baby.

We agreed without words that the discussion was over -- even 
though we were on the floor in my living room, we'd crossed the 
line into being in bed, so Mulder's Rule was in force.  It was 
just as well -- I wasn't ready to bring up the one name I needed 
to.  All I wanted was to lie there in his arms, his mouth and his 
hands and his body doing wondrous things to me.

I pulled my sweatshirt over my head as he tugged off my leggings 
and panties.  I drew his tee-shirt up, pushed at the waistband of 
his sweats.  I wanted him naked, wanted to see the firelight 
reflected off his sumptuous body.  Mulder smiled and complied, 
then returned to my arms, to his apparent goal of tasting every 
millimeter of my skin.

He ran his lips down my stomach, his tongue dipped into my navel, 
and I quivered.  He trailed his mouth over my abdomen and paused 
a moment.  At first I wondered why and I glanced at him -- then I 
realized.

The scar.  In my mind, a reminder of how much I needed him, 
depended on him as my partner.  In his, no doubt a sign of his 
inability to protect me, to keep me safe.

I brought a hand to his face, saw the tears in his eyes.  I shook 
my head fiercely.  "Don't."  He looked up at me, opened his mouth 
to speak, but I put my fingers to his lips.  "No guilt, Mulder.  
Love and passion, remember?"

I felt him smile against my hand and he nodded.  I brushed away 
his tears, slipped my fingers into his hair as he leaned down and 
kissed the scar.  Then his mouth moved further down my body, 
toward his eventual destination.

I shivered when I felt his breath between my legs.  His lips were 
soft on my thighs, his tongue rough against my already slick 
folds.  He lapped at my clit as he leisurely slipped a finger 
into me.  He stroked my inner walls, his tongue swirling around 
that tiny bundle of nerves, my fingers kneading his scalp.  My 
hips thrust against him and his free hand moved to my ass, 
supporting me, caressing me.

Mulder knew instinctively how to touch me, how to give me the 
most pleasure.  How to bring me to orgasm quickly, and how to 
draw out the experience for both of us.  He was easily the most 
attentive, most sensitive, most giving lover I'd ever had.  He 
was the only lover I ever wanted, ever again.

He began stroking me faster, flicking my clit with his tongue.  
My fingers tightened in his hair, my hips jerked against him.  
Then he withdrew his finger and looked at me, unbridled lust in 
his eyes -- he kept those eyes locked with mine as he licked my 
juices from his finger.  I quivered and my head fell back, my 
orgasm building just from watching him do that.  Then his mouth 
was on me again, his tongue probing, his teeth scraping, his lips 
caressing.  He sucked my clit into his hot mouth, the suction 
delicate at first then more forceful...

The power of this orgasm was extraordinary.  My body went rigid, 
my vision grayed out, I began to tremble uncontrollably.  Mulder 
stayed with me the whole time, his mouth on me, his strong hands 
caressing me, his eyes seeing through me, into my very soul.

When I finally came back to him, I realized I still had his hair 
in a death grip.  I let go and smoothed my fingers through it, 
then pulled him close to me, guided him into me.  We made love by 
firelight, slowly and deliciously.  His own staggering climax 
triggered another one in me, not as powerful but no less intense.  
I held him and soothed him as he recovered, and we drifted off to 
sleep wrapped up in each other, murmuring words of tenderness and 
devotion.

Sometime later I became aware of being lifted -- I opened my eyes 
to find the fire dying and Mulder cradling me in his arms, 
picking me up off the floor.

"Mulder, what...?"

"Shh.  Go back to sleep."

I snuggled against him, kissed his throat and closed my eyes.  A 
few moments later I felt him lower me to the bed and draw the 
sheet and comforter over me.  Then he turned out the light and 
spooned up against me, holding me tight.  I smiled and turned my 
head to look at him.

"Did you set the alarm?"

"Mm-hm."

"What time?"

"Six.  Is that early enough?"

I nodded, reached up and kissed him.  He deepened it, our tongues 
dancing in each other's mouths -- but we just kissed, with no 
thought to anything else tonight.

I was almost asleep again when I heard him whisper in my ear.  "I 
know you weren't finished, Scully."

My eyes came open and I turned toward him.  "Mulder..."

"It's okay...  I just want you to know that when you're ready... 
I'll be here."

I looked at him then, and I saw that same openness and 
vulnerability I had seen when we made love for the first time.  I 
was overwhelmed by my love for this man, and tears threatened to 
fall.  I tried to close my eyes before he saw them.

"Scully?"  Too late.  I shook my head and smiled at him.

"I love you so much."  That and the smile seemed to ease his 
concern.  I turned over so I could rest my head on his chest, so 
I could hear his heart beating in the night.  He gathered me in 
his arms and we both drifted off to sleep.

Dana Scully's Apartment
Monday, February 14, 2000
5:33 a.m.

It's a rare occurrence when I'm awake before Mulder.  Whenever 
we're in the field, I've always heard the shower in his bathroom 
running as I woke up.  And both mornings this weekend, I opened 
my eyes to find him smiling at me and stroking my face -- so I 
reveled in this chance to study him in sleep.

My God, he's such a beautiful man.  The lines that give his face 
character in our waking hours melted away as he slept -- he 
looked younger, less careworn.  There was almost an innocence 
about him, even though Mulder's innocence had been ripped away 
from him at the age of twelve.  He looked... peaceful.

Had I done that for him?  Had the simple act of sleeping next to 
me taken away the tension and stress our work brings him?  Had 
the not-so-simple act of taking our relationship to another level 
relieved him of one more thing to think about in the night?

I felt his heart beating.  I felt him breathe.  I felt so much 
love for him, and from him.

I reached up and touched his cheek, the rough stubble there.  He 
shifted a little, his arms tightened around me.  I ran my fingers 
over his full, sensuous lips.  He pursed them reflexively, kissed 
my fingers.  I felt his breathing change as he started to wake 
up.  He peered at me under his lashes and smiled.

"What'cha doin'?"

"Watching you sleep."

"S'posed to be my job."

"You got to do it Saturday and Sunday.  I wanted a turn."

He kissed my temple and I snuggled against him.  "Time is it?"

"'Bout five-thirty."

His eyes opened a little and he grinned.  "Alarm doesn't go off 
till six."

I returned his grin.  "I know."  I moved up his body to kiss him 
fully on those exquisite lips, nibbling on the plump lower one.  
He responded, tried to roll over on top of me.  I gently pushed 
him onto his back and straddled him, his growing erection nudging 
my ass.  I broke the kiss and sat up, looked down at him through 
the curtain of my hair.  He reached up and tucked it behind my 
ears, let his fingers linger on my face.  I ran mine over his 
eyes, his nose, his lips.  "So beautiful..."

He laughed a little.  "You're stealing all my best material this 
morning."

"Mulder... you just don't know..."

"What don't I know, Scully?"  His voice was husky, rough with 
desire.

I closed my eyes, my hands still exploring his face.  "I watch 
you sitting there, behind your desk, next to me in Skinner's 
office, beside me in the car... and my heart races.  I see you 
working, the wheels turning, puzzling things out, trying to make 
sense of things that just don't make sense... and I can't 
breathe.  I notice you talking to people, questioning witnesses, 
interrogating suspects, coaxing some bit of information from 
them..."  I opened my eyes just then -- there was an expression 
of awe on his face.  He honestly didn't know.  His fingers were 
still on my cheek, and I turned to touch my lips to them.  "And 
I'm so proud, Mulder.  Of the man you are."

"It's because of you, you know."  I shook my head a little.  
"Yes, Scully, it is.  As much as you say I'm everything to you... 
you're everything to me."  He slipped his hand behind my neck and 
we came together in another kiss -- full of passion, full of love.

My lips moved to his ear, his neck, that sensitive spot along his 
jaw.  His hands trailed up and down my spine as I shifted down 
his body, my tongue circling his nipples.  I ran my fingernails 
through his soft dusting of chest hair, his toned abs.  I climbed 
off him, scooted further down, touched his stomach, his hips, his 
thighs... and finally, finally...

I heard him gasp as I took him in my mouth.  His hips gave a 
reflexive thrust and he flexed his hands, hovering over my head 
but grabbing hold of the sheets instead.  My eyes drifted shut, 
my hand fondled his balls, my lips sealed around his cock.

"Oh god... Scully... that's... you..."

Mouth moving, tongue swirling, teeth nipping, hand gripping, 
fingers caressing...

There was such power in this act.  I didn't want to abuse the 
control I had over him, but I longed for Mulder to relinquish his 
to me.  He couldn't keep his hips still -- he kept thrusting up 
to meet my mouth.  His hands clutched at the sheets, touched my 
head, stroked my hair.  Suddenly I felt his fingers grip my hair 
-- he was close, trying to pull me away.

"Scully... I'm gonna... please..."

I reached up and took his hand in mine, laced our fingers 
together, my mouth never stopping its movements on his hard, hard 
cock.  I increased the suction ever so slightly -- but it was 
enough.  He gave one more thrust, his hand tightened in mine, he 
cried out...  "Scully!  Scuh..."

I stilled my movements as he came, his cock pulsing, emptying 
into my mouth.  I drank in his essence, held tight to his hand, 
not wanting to break the connection just yet.  Then...

The fucking alarm went off.

I froze at the sound, then I heard him slap at the clock, hitting 
the snooze bar.  I swirled my tongue around him once more and 
released him, moved up his body to lie next to him.  He was 
breathing hard, eyes closed, and he still held onto my hand.  I 
stroked his cheek and turned his face toward me, kissed him 
gently.  He dragged his eyes open and smiled.

"Hey, you..."

I returned his smile.  "Hey yourself."

He brought my hand to his lips, kissed it, held it there.  
"Scully, that... that was..."  I kissed his hand too, and he 
closed his eyes.  "You're the most amazing woman."

I shrugged.  "Not so amazing.  Just in love."

"That's what I find so amazing."  He drew me into his arms and 
kissed me, tasting himself in my mouth.  My own arousal grew as 
his hands moved up and down my back, my hips, my legs.  He 
slipped a hand between my thighs and stroked me there.

"God, Mulder... yes, right there... oh yeah..."

The damn snooze alarm went off just then, and I reached out to 
slap it off again.  After a couple of attempts I knocked the 
clock off the nightstand and Mulder...  Mulder pinched my clit 
between his fingers and I was flying.  I bit into his shoulder as 
I shuddered and cried out.

Breathing hard, I kissed his shoulder where I bit him.  "How do 
you do that?"

He laughed.  "Trade secret."

"No, I... how do you know exactly how to touch me?"

He kissed me, smoothed the hair off my forehead.  "I'm in love 
with you."

It really was as simple as that, for both of us.  We loved each 
other.  We were in love with each other.  So we knew.

FBI Headquarters
Office of Special Agent Fox Mulder
Monday, February 14, 2000
9:08 a.m.

Against my better judgment, we took a shower together -- which, 
of course, made us late.  We didn't have time for breakfast at my 
place, so Mulder offered to stop at the coffee shop near the 
office to pick something up.

We shared our goodbye kisses inside the apartment.  We knew -- 
again, without discussion -- that we should be careful with our 
newly acknowledged emotions.  We knew our enemies would like 
nothing better than to use our relationship against us, so our 
agreement to keep things professional on the job still held.

But that wouldn't stop me from having a little fun at the office.

The moment I walked in the door, I dropped my things and grabbed 
the paper cup filled with little pastel hearts.  I spread them 
out on my desk and searched for the ones I wanted.  I smiled when 
I found them, arranged them on Mulder's desk then scooped the 
rest back into the paper cup.

After a few minutes I heard his familiar footsteps coming down 
the hall.  I gave my attention to the file in front of me and 
smiled, but I didn't turn as he came into the office.

"Morning, Mulder."

"Morning, Scully."  He handed me my coffee, our fingers brushing.  
"Muffin?"

I cocked an eyebrow in his direction, grinned.  "Watch those pet 
names, Agent Mulder."

He smiled as I reached into the bag he held out.  Almond 
poppyseed.  My favorite.  I love this man.

He rounded his desk and set the bag down.  Then he saw the 
hearts.

Three of them.

His eyes found mine and we exchanged shy smiles.  "Happy 
Valentine's Day, partner."

"Back at ya, G-woman."

He picked up the little candy hearts one by one and dropped them 
into that luscious mouth...

"I Love You."

"Always."

"Forever."

END