Collage by Julie Cantrell - archived at The Federal Bureau of Imagination

TITLE:  Conversation Hearts I:  My Funny Valentine
AUTHOR:  Lara Means
E-MAIL:  LaraMeansXF@aol.com 
CLASSIFICATION:  SR
RATING:  PG
ARCHIVE:  Gossamer, NO; Spookys site, NO (I'll submit directly to 
both); Ephemeral, YES; anywhere else, YES, but if possible please 
let me know

SPOILERS:  Biogenesis/The Sixth Extinction/Amor Fati, Millennium

SUMMARY:  As Valentine's Day approaches, Scully gets a glimpse of 
Mulder's playful, romantic side.

DATE POSTED TO ATXC:  02/20/00

FEEDBACK:  Hey, writers live for this stuff.  Constructive 
criticism is welcomed, on ATXC or at LaraMeansXF@aol.com

DISCLAIMER:  "The X-Files" is copyright Twentieth Century Fox 
Television and Ten Thirteen Productions.  The show, its premise 
and characters were created by Chris Carter and are used here 
without permission.  No copyright infringement is intended, no 
profit will be realized.  (I've also borrowed the name of a 
character from Carter's "Millennium" as a pseudonym.  Same 
disclaimer applies.)

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  I can never seem to write a fluffy little story 
-- that's how this started out, just a little ball of fluff about 
how Mulder and Scully might do Valentine's Day.  (So I'm late, so 
sue me.)  But now, well...

"Conversation Hearts" is now a three-part series.  This one, "My 
Funny Valentine," is Part One.  Part Two, "The Dating Game" 
(rated R), will be posted shortly.  Part Three, "Always, Forever" 
(rated NC-17), will follow after that.  This is *not* a work-in-
progress -- it's just a story I've got completely written in my 
head but haven't had the time to put down on paper yet.

These stories are sort of a follow-up to my story "Nonessential 
Personnel."  It isn't necessary to have read that story to follow 
these; just know that Mulder and Scully spent a day back in 
January playing in the snow and making out. <g>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CONVERSATION HEARTS I:  MY FUNNY VALENTINE

by Lara Means

FBI Headquarters
Office of Special Agent Fox Mulder
Monday, Feb. 7, 2000
8:57 a.m.

It started innocently enough.

I had just come into the basement office and moved to put my 
laptop down when I saw it, just sitting there in the middle of my 
desk.

A candy heart.

Pink.

With words on it.

"You Are Cute."

Obviously, my partner had arrived before me.

I picked up the heart and smiled, then heard footsteps and 
smelled coffee.  I turned to face him as he came through the 
door, two coffee mugs in his hands.

"'Cute,' Mulder?"

"Why, thank you, Scully.  So are you."  He grinned, handed me a 
mug and moved to sit behind his desk.  I popped the candy heart 
into my mouth and crushed it between my teeth, returning his 
grin.  My partner, an otherwise intelligent and somewhat rational 
man, had a romantic streak a mile wide -- and I suspected that 
Valentine's Day was about to bring out that side of him in 
spades.

About a half-hour later, my suspicion was confirmed.

I opened the flat desk drawer to get a pen and saw them.  Five 
little tiny candy hearts, smaller than the other one, all with 
words on them.

"Hug Me."  "Cool."  "Sweet Talk."  "Smile."  "Angel."

I sighed deeply.  Valentine's Day was still a whole week away.

I put the hearts in a little pile on the desk and glanced at him.  
He was watching me, a tiny grin playing at his lips.  I just 
shook my head and returned to my work.  I reached into another 
drawer for an expense report form.  There were three of them 
there, larger like the first one.

"Be My Love."  "You Rock."  "I Got U Babe."

I looked over at him, trying to be stern -- but he was smiling.  
Then he winked at me, and I had to laugh.

"Mulder..."

"Yes, Scully?"

"What are you doing?"

"Looking at you."

I scooped up the hearts and moved to sit on his desk, close to 
him.

"Mulder, we had an agreement..."

"Scully, there are little candy hearts in your desk.  There is no 
conclusive proof that I put them there.  How could that possibly 
violate our agreement?"

After seven years of dancing around the possibility of a 
relationship, Mulder and I finally kissed for the first time on 
New Year's Eve.  And since our forced 'snow days' last month 
(when the federal government shut down for two days and he 
dragged me outside to play), we've been a bit more... 
demonstrative than before.  More physically affectionate.  Oh, 
hell -- we'd been kissing a lot.  But I insisted that we keep it 
out of the office.  We had to maintain a high level of 
professionalism on the job.  So we had an agreement.

"Mulder.  'Hug Me'?  'Sweet Talk'?  'Be My Love'?  Come on."

"Random picks out of the bag, Scully.  They could've easily said 
'Time Out' or 'E-Mail Me.'"

But I knew my partner too well.  He'd probably spent at least an 
hour last night picking out the ones he wanted, eating or tossing 
the others.  I smiled gently and took his hand, dropped the "You 
Rock" heart into it and squeezed his fingers.

"This is very sweet -- in more ways than one -- but Mulder..."

He popped the heart into his mouth, his grin all but gone.  "Just 
eat the damn candy, Scully."

It was going to be a long week.

Office of Assistant Director Walter Skinner
Thursday, February 10, 2000
2:09 p.m.

The candy hearts kept popping up in unexpected places -- my desk 
drawers, my pencil holder, my paper clip holder, my jacket 
pockets, the slide projector, the file cabinets...  And they had 
all sorts of personal, potentially troublesome messages on them 
-- "Only You," "Love Me," "Kiss Me Again," "My Girl," "Amore," 
"All Mine," "One I Love"...  My Mulder is nothing if not 
tenacious.

This afternoon we sat in our customary places across the desk 
from the Assistant Director, watching almost nervously -- well, 
*I* was almost nervous -- as he reviewed our expense reports for 
the fourth quarter of 1999.  We'd been traveling a bit more than 
usual since Mulder's illness, something I attributed to his need 
to prove -- to me, to himself -- that he is fully recovered and 
every bit as capable as he ever was.  Personally, I've never 
doubted him -- but Mulder's self-confidence sometimes seems to 
wax and wane with the phases of the moon.

So far, so good, though -- Skinner had only glanced up at us once 
or twice, which was usually a good sign.  Then I saw it -- a bump 
underneath the next page.  I held my breath as Skinner turned the 
paper over.  He froze as he saw three hearts there -- two of the 
small ones, one larger, but I couldn't see what was written on 
them from where I sat.  I stole a glance at Mulder, who refused 
to look at me.  Skinner's eyes rose slowly, first meeting mine, 
then Mulder's.  He picked up the large heart.

"'1-800 Cupid'?"

I could see Mulder hiding a smirk.  Skinner picked up the smaller 
hearts.

"'E Z 2 Love'?  'Cutie Pie'?"  He looked at me as he read that 
one, his eyes demanding some sort of explanation.

"I'm sorry, Sir... my nephew thought it would be fun to send Aunt 
Dana a bag of hearts with words on them... you see, he's two now, 
and he's talking more, and..."  I reached out for the candy.  
"I'll just..."

But Skinner dropped the hearts into his mouth and said, "Uh-huh."  
He went back to reviewing our expense report, and I could swear I 
saw a little smile on his face.

Alone in the elevator, Mulder finally let out the laugh he'd been 
holding back.  I, of course, smacked his arm.  "Mulder, that was 
too close -- do you realize what could've happened?"

"'Cutie Pie'!  Oh, man... that expression was priceless!  And you 
-- your *nephew* sent them?  Brilliant, Scully!"

"I want every little heart you've got sprinkled around the office 
rounded up by the end of the day.  I'm serious, Mulder."  I tried 
to maintain a glare, but it dissolved into a heavy-duty giggle by 
the time the elevator got to the basement.

Hoover Building Parking Garage, 4th Level
Thursday, February 10, 2000
6:49 p.m.

Mulder made a concerted effort to find all the candy, and by the 
time we left for the day I had a paper cup nearly full of little 
pastel hearts on my desk.  He'd been oddly quiet during his 
search, which I knew wasn't a good thing -- he wasn't exactly 
sulking, but I could tell he was a little hurt that his effort to 
be festive wasn't as well received as he'd have liked.

We left the office together and made our way to our cars.  We 
reached mine first and said goodnight.  He moved on, then I 
called out to him.

"Mulder."

He turned around and I went to join him.  I reached out and 
twined my fingers with his.  He was surprised by the contact -- 
after all, we were still technically at work -- but he didn't 
break it.

"It really was very sweet."

"But a little overboard, huh?"

"Well, never let it be said that Fox Mulder does anything 
halfway."  He smiled at that.  I gave his fingers a squeeze.  
"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

I let his hand drop and went back to my car as he moved on -- 
then he turned around again and came back.

"Scully?  Are you doing anything tomorrow night?"

I shook my head as he reached my car.  "What did you have in 
mind?"

"Would you have dinner with me?"  He looked kind of shy, wouldn't 
meet my eyes.  I smiled as it dawned on me...

"You mean, like a date?"  He looked in my eyes just then and 
nodded slightly.  "Mulder, you've never asked me on a date 
before."

"I figure it's about time.  Don't you?"

I considered him for a moment.  "Yes."

It took him half an instant to realize that my one word answered 
both his questions.  He smiled, nodded.  "Good."  He turned again 
and walked away.  I could've sworn there was a little bounce in 
his step.  I knew there was a bounce in mine.

END

to be continued in CONVERSATION HEARTS II:  THE DATING GAME